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Making Major Life Changes


Reviewed By: Timothy Yarboro, M.D.

Major life changes are an inevitable and discomforting part of life. Many life changes (the disease or death of a loved one, for example) are deeply traumatic on many levels. But even the most positive life changes, such as the birth of a baby or a promotion at work, can cause anxiety.

In fact, many times, we avoid making any changes to our circumstances, believing the devil we know is better than the devil we don't.

Unfortunately, such an approach may limit our ability to explore new opportunities, or may cause us to simply put off solving a problem for another day. Although change is often difficult, you can make the transition easier by observing the following tips.

Transition Traction

Tips for easing the transition that occurs after a major life change include:

  • Face the situation directly. Instead of avoiding change for as long as possible, face up to reality right away. For example, if the company you're working for is making lay-offs and you think you may be next, don't sit there doing nothing, hoping that you'll be spared. Instead, think through your options and formulate a plan. Perhaps you could take steps now to secure your job or actively look for work elsewhere. By facing up to the situation, you can take control of how change will affect your life, rather than hastily responding in panic when the inevitable occurs.

    Identify your problems and separate out things you can change from matters outside of your control. Think of steps you can take to increase the likelihood of a positive outcome.

  • Don't think too little (or too much). Don't rush into change blindly. Instead, take time to examine your options before choosing the best alternative. However, don't fall into the trap of analyzing your situation in too much detail, either. Over-thinking the pros and cons of your various options can leave you paralyzed by indecision.

    After appropriate analysis, you should be ready to take action. Then, trust in your ability to change direction if things don't turn out exactly as hoped.

  • Accept the inevitable mistakes. Even when you can influence the direction of change, it's impossible to know beforehand how your choices will turn out. Inevitably, you will make mistakes. Accept this truth before you take action.

    If fear of failure paralyzes you, take a moment to imagine the worst possible outcome of a potential decision. If the worst occurred, what steps would you take to get yourself back on track? In most cases, you can think of at least one potential solution to a worse-case scenario. This knowledge can take some of the fear out of making a difficult choice.

  • Seek out support. Few of us are able to handle major life changes on our own. The support of others can be a tremendous help when you're in the middle of a major life change.

    During times of change, negative self-talk may sabotage your confidence. Family, friends, clergy, professional counselors and others can nudge you away from this type of destructive negativity. Their insights and encouragement can help keep you focused on taking the necessary steps to cope with change.

 

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