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How to Handle Difficult People

By: Michele Bloomquist

Nothing can spoil a great day faster than dealing with a difficult person. They call these folks toxic for good reason. Not only are they plain rotten, but their stress and hostility can raise your blood pressure and cause your body to churn out stress hormones. Fortunately, there are simple things you can do to sweeten this sour situation. We asked women in jobs where things can get ugly fast what tricks they rely on to handle trying moments with toxic people. Here's what they had to say:

"A trip to the ER is almost always a stressful experience, and it can bring out the worst in some people. When I find myself dealing with a patient who won't calm down, I deliberately speak more slowly. I find the person will start to mimic my pace of speech, and in turn, start to calm down enough to see that I'm on their side and want to help."
‑-Tamara, 30, emergency room nurse

"Whenever someone in my office is upset, I put myself in the other person's shoes and try to see their side of the story. I've found it really helps if I pause and remember to treat them the way I'd like to be treated myself. And of course, if that doesn't work, don't try to handle it alone. Get a supervisor or coworker to help you."
‑-Barbara, 59, unemployment claims manager

"Once I was stuck in a contract with an impossible-to-please client. He would be very vague about what he wanted, then say what I delivered wasn't what he asked for. I solved the problem by putting it back on him. I'd say, 'We need to work together on this. What is it exactly that you want to accomplish, and how can I help you achieve it?' It worked so well, I've used the technique ever since."
‑-Marie, 42, independent contractor

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